February 8, 2010

Love the Beast

I watched Revolutionary Road last night. I haven't read the book, but jez-a-lou it left me feeling icky. The ending is pretty brutal. The movie isn't bad (I heart Kate) it's just one of those movies that leaves me feeling .. what exactly? Perhaps anxious? Heart thumpingly depressed(ish)? Hard to say.

I dreamt last night (oh here we go - way to bring in the readers Ginny. There is nothing more boring than hearing about other peoples dreams) that I had a tiny new born baby. The first distressing thing was I couldn't remember giving birth. Then I realised I'd pissed it off and the baby hated me. J (partner) kept putting him (bloody hell I think it's name was Andrew! wtf?) in a too big cot that the baby kept almost falling out of. I woke feeling awful but also strangely elated at the vividness of knowing that I had a tiny (hateful) (heh) perfect baby. I was so disturbed and discombobulated by it all that I got up and took a couple of nurofen plus preempting the headache I could feel lingering but mostly just for the lovely, soothing codeine buzz to lighten my mood. I swear I'm not a drug addict ! Just a resourceful nurse.

Does anyone else dream like this? I dream vividly every night and can always remember the minuet details the next day. And sometimes like today, it's so real that it bothers me for days.

God I can't wait for uni to start.

(piss ... the heading? Have you seen this documentary? I love Eric. If I had a million I'd have some mechanic rebuild an old Holden Torana coupe and do the Targa. Driving as fast as you can around one of the most beautiful places in the world? I'm in)

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